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Hospital Combats Staff Burnout With Mandatory Training on Burnout (Satire)

Disclaimer: This post is from GomerBlog, a satirical site about healthcare.

As burnout has gained publicity in the medical world, hospital administrators have been working at a medium pace to find a cure for it.

“The last thing we want is for physicians and mid-levels to burn out and leave medicine,” Tuscaloosa Lutheran Hospital CEO Kevin Klueless, BS, MHA, GED, MBA, PMHNP, DNP, BFD, PIA, told GomerBlog. “Without doctors, it becomes very hard to run a profitable non-profit hospital.”

“If I can’t make money from medicine despite not having a f***ing clue about medicine, I could end up having to get a job where I would need to actually understand what really happens in that business! That is the scariest thought ever!”

The mandatory burnout training has been conveniently scheduled for Saturdays from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. Physicians are required to attend 4 sessions over a 5-week period while mid-levels are required to attend 2 sessions over the same duration.

For nurses, the mandatory burnout training will be held in 7-hour blocks conveniently timed to start immediately following shifts.

CEO Klueless explained, “We need the doctors, mid-levels, and nurses to know how seriously we take burnout. To the end of this, no vacation or PTO will be allowed until all burnout training has been completed.”

Last Updated January 07, 2021